Sometimes, though, restrictions might be in order.
#TIME OUT PUNISHMENT HOW TO#
Read: There used to be consensus on how to raise kids.Īccording to Markham, this general principle also applies to time-outs and groundings. “If he was sent to his room, you wouldn’t have that breakthrough emotionally,” Markham says. And one of the messages usually coded into “Go to your room” is Suppress those underlying emotions until you’re ready to interact with the world again.Ī constructive alternative is for parents to talk things through with their kids-why did the child do what he did? “When the child feels heard by us,” Markham says, “then they will begin to take a deep breath and get under control.” A conversation-an acknowledgment of the child’s feelings, perhaps an explanation of why the world can’t be as the child would prefer-allows more vulnerable feelings to emerge. “Under anger”-an emotion that often leads kids to act out-“there’s always fear or hurt or powerlessness,” she says. “What do we think is going to happen when they go to their room?” asks Laura Markham, a psychologist who founded the site Aha! Parenting () and promotes a model she calls “peaceful parenting.” Children may emerge from their rooms calmer, but, Markham says, they have missed out on an opportunity for development. As some child-development experts told me, the saying can work against a parent’s goal of raising a considerate kid. For almost as long as children have had rooms, parents have been sending them there as punishment.īut while barking “Go to your room!” surely represents an improvement over what used to be an all-too-common punishment for children-spanking-it can introduce problems of its own.
0 kommentar(er)
